Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
