why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
