So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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