the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
