I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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