The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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