capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
