Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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