im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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