I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
