they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
