he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
