I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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