she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
