Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize