So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
