Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You ruined the universe
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
