Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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