ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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