sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
