How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i love accidental penises.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
