So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
