Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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