paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
