I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
