I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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