She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
