There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
