I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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