Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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