i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how do flat chested girls get laid?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
