I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
