I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize