His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just invented taco cereal.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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