someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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