you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
