At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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