so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Shame is for Republicans.
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