Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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