he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
