she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
