Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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