haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
