So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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