Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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