I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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