but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
