i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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