So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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