Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
