We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
