I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
