after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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