Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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