the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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