and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she smelled like a LAN party
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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