I just saw a hot homeless man
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
