the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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