I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
