She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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