Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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