Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
