That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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