I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
