It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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