I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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