He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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