Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
