Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
