If i come over, it means nothing
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
