can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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