Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
