We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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