Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
