hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
