I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
