I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
