is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
