he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize